I woke up with my sinuses running. I still planned to go work out today because I woke up too late yesterday to go. I kept blowing my nose, using tissue after tissue. I could not make myself move any faster. When the sinuses get going, everything else is in slow motion.
I get to the gym, walk around the track, get on the elliptical machine and the gal beside me decides to turn on a fan so that it’s blowing directly on me and then she walks away. Great. So, for 45 minutes I’m struggling to keep my focus and forcing myself to reach my goal: 400 calories. Between the sinuses and the wind gusts, it was really a challenge today.
I’m thinking to myself, I should stop at Walmart on the way home to pick up some chicken and maybe some fish. But I really didn’t want to go. I had to push myself. I get to Walmart and have to park out in Timbuktu because the place is naturally busy on a Saturday. I wanted to pick up some Daikon radishes but they didn’t have any. I picked up a Plantain because I’ve never tried it and wanted to. I was taking forever at the frozen fish case. Everything was from China. I was looking for anything from the Pacific ocean but forget that idea. So, not happy, I just grabbed what I could and moved on.
I got to the 20 items or less cashier and a handicapped woman was in front of me. She had at least 50 items in her cart. At this point, I just didn’t care anymore. I didn’t care if the roof caved in, I didn’t care if I got arrested, I didn’t care if my car got stolen. I just did not care.
When I finally got to the cashier, she was very nice and apologized. She asked me, “Doesn’t the sign say 20 items or less?” I looked up to be sure. “Yes, that’s what it says.” She was upset. She said that the aisle was supposed to be for customers who want to get out quickly. I wasn’t upset because I just did not care. I was pooped. Exhausted.
I begin pushing my cart out the doors, hoping that traffic stops for me because I wasn’t going to stop for them and pushed my cart UPHILL out to Timbuktu where my car is parked. I couldn’t see my car. I thought to myself, good, I hope somebody stole it. (Just so you know my frame of mind.)
I pop open the trunk of my car and I hear somebody calling to me. I turn around and on the other side of the aisle of cars are two men, a tall one and a short one walking towards me, smiling. Naturally, it’s the short one who says, “I didn’t have the nerve to talk to you in Walmart. Are you single?”
Isn’t it amazing how they manage to prey on you at your lowest point? I had taken a shower at the gym so I was clean, but my hair looked like a bird’s nest. It was frizzy, the sides were sticking out all over, I had parted it down the middle which I never do when it’s at this short length, and it was completely windblown because I had rolled down the car window to get it to dry since I didn’t bring my blow dryer with me. Are you getting the picture? I made Nick Nolte’s mug shot look good is what I’m saying.
You know, since I had been bugged at the gym by a couple of doofises, I had practiced at home what I was going to say if they bothered me again. For the life of me, I couldn’t remember what those words were at the Walmart parking lot because I was so in disbelief and my brain was in fogtown.
All I could muster was, “I am not interested in any relationship!” while vehemently motioning my arms as if to say, this is final!! He thanked me and said something else, I can’t remember. At least he was polite.
Will somebody tell me what is going on here? When I was out in the dating world wanting to date, I didn’t get hit on half as much as I’ve been getting hit on lately.
Some days you should just stay in bed and pull the covers over your head. This was one of them.