Attention Walmart Shoppers

15 Sep

I woke up with my sinuses running. I still planned to go work out today because I woke up too late yesterday to go. I kept blowing my nose, using tissue after tissue. I could not make myself move any faster. When the sinuses get going, everything else is in slow motion.

Sneezy

I get to the gym, walk around the track, get on the elliptical machine and the gal beside me decides to turn on a fan so that it’s blowing directly on me and then she walks away. Great. So, for 45 minutes I’m struggling to keep my focus and forcing myself to reach my goal: 400 calories. Between the sinuses and the wind gusts, it was really a challenge today.

I’m thinking to myself, I should stop at Walmart on the way home to pick up some chicken and maybe some fish. But I really didn’t want to go. I had to push myself. I get to Walmart and have to park out in Timbuktu because the place is naturally busy on a Saturday. I wanted to pick up some Daikon radishes but they didn’t have any. I picked up a Plantain because I’ve never tried it and wanted to. I was taking forever at the frozen fish case. Everything was from China. I was looking for anything from the Pacific ocean but forget that idea. So, not happy, I just grabbed what I could and moved on.

I got to the 20 items or less cashier and a handicapped woman was in front of me. She had at least 50 items in her cart. At this point, I just didn’t care anymore. I didn’t care if the roof caved in, I didn’t care if I got arrested, I didn’t care if my car got stolen. I just did not care.

When I finally got to the cashier, she was very nice and apologized. She asked me, “Doesn’t the sign say 20 items or less?” I looked up to be sure. “Yes, that’s what it says.” She was upset. She said that the aisle was supposed to be for customers who want to get out quickly.  I wasn’t upset because I just did not care. I was pooped. Exhausted.

I begin pushing my cart out the doors, hoping that traffic stops for me because I wasn’t going to stop for them and pushed my cart UPHILL out to Timbuktu where my car is parked. I couldn’t see my car. I thought to myself, good, I hope somebody stole it. (Just so you know my frame of mind.)

I pop open the trunk of my car and I hear somebody calling to me. I turn around and on the other side of the aisle of cars are two men, a tall one and a short one walking towards me, smiling. Naturally, it’s the short one who says, “I didn’t have the nerve to talk to you in Walmart. Are you single?”

Dopey & Happy

Isn’t it amazing how they manage to prey on you at your lowest point? I had taken a shower at the gym so I was clean, but my hair looked like a bird’s nest. It was frizzy, the sides were sticking out all over, I had parted it down the middle which I never do when it’s at this short length, and it was completely windblown because I had rolled down the car window to get it to dry since I didn’t bring my blow dryer with me. Are you getting the picture? I made Nick Nolte’s mug shot look good is what I’m saying.

You know, since I had been bugged at the gym by a couple of doofises, I had practiced at home what I was going to say if they bothered me again. For the life of me, I couldn’t remember what those words were at the Walmart parking lot because I was so in disbelief and my brain was in fogtown.

All I could muster was, “I am not interested in any relationship!” while vehemently motioning my arms as if to say, this is final!!  He thanked me and said something else, I can’t remember. At least he was polite.

Will somebody tell me what is going on here? When I was out in the dating world wanting to date, I didn’t get hit on half as much as I’ve been getting hit on lately.

Sleepy

Some days you should just stay in bed and pull the covers over your head. This was one of them.

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11 Responses to “Attention Walmart Shoppers”

  1. tbnranch September 25, 2012 at 11:59 am #

    Ha ha! I love this post… I can relate! Well, except I can’t say anybody has flirted with me in a parking lot lately!

    Like

    • Marcella Rousseau September 25, 2012 at 5:31 pm #

      Thanks! I think a lot of women can relate. You haven’t lived until somebody tries to pick you up in a Walmart parking lot. I still can’t believe it. I crack up every time I read the line, “are you single?” It’ll be a cold day in June when I go back.

      Like

  2. desertrose September 17, 2012 at 6:13 pm #

    Awwww, so sorry you were feeling unwell and very glad you are feeling better now.

    The dating scene can be frightening. I find it is better to laugh at the awful things that happen than to fret over them. Many single older men in my experience fall into two categories………….Desperate and in need of a serious relationship yesterday….or….the consummate player looking for thrills and one night stands. If you think about it , it is rather amazing that age has neither brought enlightenment nor maturity to these poor souls.

    Hang in there Ladies it is said that the moment you seriously stop looking is when fate presents you with the one meant for you. At least that is how I met my fiance after 13 years of being divorced (and planning on being the neighborhood cat lady), He is a wonderful man and I am very grateful to have found him in this vast sea of confused – single middle aged men ,lol.

    Like

    • Marcella Rousseau September 17, 2012 at 7:03 pm #

      desertrose, if you’ll notice, my post is under the Humor category. LOL, I think some of you are missing the point: I’m very happy with my life the way it is. I’m not looking for a man or wishing that if I stop looking that that is when one will show up for me! I find that my choice to be independent is the best choice for me and has made me the happiest I’ve ever been. Independence, confidence, happiness, are traits that the opposite sex finds appealing. Aye, there’s the rub!
      I realize that not every woman wants to make my choice. I’m not on a mission to convert anybody that my lifestyle is the only one. After a lifetime of waiting on and doting on others, I now can spend all my energy on me. A more deserving person I don’t know : – )
      And by the way, I’m still doing it! You’ll notice that my blog is For YOUR good health! Some habits die hard.

      Like

  3. P. C. Zick September 17, 2012 at 9:17 am #

    Marcella, It’s when you stop trying (dating in this case) that things happen. Although I must say being approached in a Wal-Mart parking lot by two men asking that question is a bit weird. The other day a man approached me in Starbucks where I sat reading intently while drinking my coffee. “What do you do for a living?” he asked. I brought my head out of my book, and stared at him. “What?” I asked. And he repeated the question, smiling broadly at me and coming closer. “I’m a bum. I don’t do a thing,” I said. He looked at me with disgust turned around, packed up his laptop and slammed out the front door. Weird and just a little creepy.

    Like

    • Marcella Rousseau September 17, 2012 at 12:23 pm #

      LOL! I wish I could have the nerve to respond like that. I’d be afraid they’d pull out a gun or something! I thought about the parking lot thing and the excuse he gave. The line about not having the nerve to approach me in Walmart was BS. He was afraid to approach me with a lot of people around in case I started screaming or making a scene, so the two of them stalked me into the parking lot where there was no one nearby. What idiots! These two incidents (the one at the gym too) happened in a small town near where I live. There must be a shortage of single women in the town otherwise I can’t see how they’d be so desperate. (Not that I’m not a catch of course!) Why don’t they realize that if a woman is interested in meeting men, she would go to places where there are men: singles groups, singles dances, singles travel clubs, singles online dating. The list is endless. No wonder they’re single.

      Like

      • P. C. Zick September 17, 2012 at 2:55 pm #

        When I divorced at the age of 50 (after 26 years of marriage), I fought venturing into the dating world. But when I finally did, I found men my age who were single (and believe me, I was propositioned by plenty who were not) had either been that way for a very long time and were desperate or were recently single and were desperate. On paper, I look pretty good so I found both categories wanted to establish a very serious relationship on the first date. Ugh. I finally gave up. A few months later my husband entered my life and that was it.

        Like

  4. silverbells2012 September 16, 2012 at 3:48 am #

    Oh dear, what a day! Hope you feel better soon.

    Like

    • Marcella Rousseau September 16, 2012 at 1:59 pm #

      I feel much better today, thank you. I got a good night’s sleep. Plus, as I was getting ready to turn off the TV last night, NOVA had a special on about Ground Zero and how far they’ve come in rebuilding everything. It was very moving not to mention a beautiful place. I hope I get to see it someday. It was so inspiring. In fact, It is as beautiful as it was horrifying. Just over the top as it deserved to be. They created a concrete that is now harder than any other concrete that ever was. They have walls that are 6 feet thick and glass that may break, but not in shards that would hurt someone. The staircases are much wider and so on. It will be, when completed, the tallest building in America. The area where the twin towers were are now reflecting pools and the largest man-made waterfalls in North America. I will probably write a post about this to get everybody up to speed on the progress and the mind-boggling thoughtful, moving, tribute shown in so many ways in this space, to the people who lost their lives and to their loved ones.

      Like

      • silverbells2012 September 16, 2012 at 2:57 pm #

        Yes, such a post would be very interesting. My parents went to Ground Zero on a visit to NY a few years ago.

        Like

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